24 days to go (until the stair climb, that is!)

I’m becoming ‘the image of fitness’.  Well, that’s what my PT said today.  I did say to him that if that’s the case, I’d be a bit worried!  He said this to me as I was running on the treadmill. 

Running has become an enjoyable activity.  I just focus on my breathing and that’s what gets me through.  I also think I’ve mentioned that if I’m told when I have 10 seconds left, I feel a lot better than knowing I have 20.  I feel less anxious knowing that the time is almost up rather than nearly up!

I’ve been at the Gym the last 3 days in a row.  I went last night with one of my friends.  It was great to have her by my side.  She really pushed me to go that extra mile.  It was great to catch up with her as well. We haven’t seen each other in some time.  She is looking amazing :) she had gastric sleeve done a few months ago (I wrote about her on my blog) and she’s done so well.  It was great to be able to speak to someone about how hard it is to separate food from something to comfort emotions with to something that is there to fuel our body.  I showed her my running as well.  I think she was suitably impressed :)

I’m still on a mission to lose my 10 kilograms before my next appointment with my Surgeon.  I have the appointment on the 20^th of July so, it’s not far away.  I have been doing so well with my eating and exercise thus far, there should be no reason that I shouldn’t lose that amount of weight.  I still think that my band might be a tiny bit tight.  It’s not something that I’ve worried about so much to the point of getting some fluid removed from the band as I am able to drink and eat some foods with ease however, I can’t eat some things that won’t go down now but did before my last fill.  I know that as my stomach shrinks, more things can get past the band so, I’ll grin and bear it until my next appointment.  Hopefully by then, I won’t need a fill at all.  Just a weigh in accompanied by a happy dance for reaching my goal!

So, 24 days until the stair climb.  It’s creeping up slowly!  I am going to do some more training on the stairs tomorrow at work.  I am going to be a little bit self concious as I am going to be wearing my leggings.  I have realised that just because things fit, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I should wear them but, in the case of my leggings, they are so much more practical than wearing my tracksuit pants.  They are a lot lighter and I am a lot cooler in them.  I am going to go the 3 rounds again like last time.  This time, I just hope it doesn’t hurt as much!  Who knows, after the stair climb, I might just do them for fun.  Hmmm.  I doubt it. 

Here’s the link to donate to my cause.  Sorry I put it up each time but, I’d love to raise as much as I possibly can.  If I raise $5000, the donation can be named after my Nanna which would be a wonderful gesture as this is why I’m doing it in the first place

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

And if you do it in the next 2 days, you can claim it as a deduction in your 10/11 tax return!  Excitement!

I just also realised that the date of the stair climb is quite significant as it is a year and 3 days exactly to when I had my first appointment with Dr Winnett where I found out how much I weighed.  It’s going to be an amazing day.  I can’t wait.

I ran... again!

I haven’t blogged for a few days – I have been so busy! 

I’m still on a bit of a high from my running on Tuesday.  And although I did it again yesterday during my PT session, I am still amazed at how I did it.  And how I can obviously do it again!

I’ve had a great week.  On Thursday, Trish and I were members of ‘The Circle’s’ studio audience.  It was so exciting!  The girls are all stunning and Chrissy is so tall!  I was a bit star struck for a while.  There are only 40 spots for Audience members.  It’s the first time I’ve ever been to a live screening of a Television show (or any show for that matter).  It’s interesting to watch what goes on behind the scenes.  We walked away with a free Masterchef magazine and a free CD :)

After we’d finished there, I went to work.  I had planned on doing the stairs before actually doing anything so, I got in and got dressed in my gym stuff and started my stairs.  I must have looked rather interesting.  I had my towel (hot pink, of course) tucked in the front of my top, my asthma stuff down the right hand side of my pants, my drink bottle was tucked into the right hand strap of my bra and my iPhone was tucked into the other side of my bra.  I saw many people as I walked the stairs.  I had to go from the 2^nd floor up to the 11^th, out of the stairwell to the lift, down to the 2^nd floor again and then back up.  I did this 3 times over.  I was hot, sweaty, tired, sore but pleased that I’d accomplished what I had set out to do.  I went down stairs and had a shower and every time I got up, I felt the ache.  Ouch.

That night, I went to ‘getting jiggy for genetics’ which is an event organised to raise money for genetic cancer research.  I was very pleased that I won 2 of the items that I had bid on in the silent auction.  I had a great night with my friends.  I didn’t get home until quite late (1.30ish) and was a bit worried how I’d pull up the next day for work and my PT session.

I got up at 5.15am when my alarm went off and got ready to go to the gym.  I felt like death warmed up.  I seriously felt shitty.  I was so tired!  I hadn’t been drinking the night before (I don’t think 2 half glasses of champagne counts as drinking) but, I felt every ache from the stairs the day before.  Michael got me to do some lunges and some step ups (ouch) and he got me to do some upper body stuff.  He also got me to do some running.  I ran at 8kph.  It may have been 8.1.  I did it for a minute and a half.  I was so proud but exhausted. 

How I got through yesterday, I will never know.  I left work at 4.40pm and headed home.  I’ve been having shakes the past few days for meals but last night, I had nachos.  When I say nachos, I mean about 5 corn chips covered in avocado!  Not a whole plate of stuff.  I still felt bloated afterwards.

Today, I am up!  I am still tired and know that I need to have an early night.  I have got so much cleaning to do today :/ I don’t have the energy or desire to do much at all.  I thought I might go to the gym later on during the day.  I might just go for a swim to keep everything moving.

I am happy that after doing 27 flights of stairs that I know I am going to be able to make it up on the day of the 22^nd of July.  I ended up holding onto the left hand rail and using my hand to scale up the wall.  I am going to have to plan my outfit on the day for sure as the tracksuit pants I wore make me really hot.  It looks like shorts or leggings :/ either way, I’ll be doing a few more flights before the big day to make sure I am totally prepared.  I have raised a fair bit in the past few days.  Thank you to everyone who has donated so far – I really appreciate it :) here is the link to donate if you haven’t already and you’d like to

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

And for those who have said they can’t donate but want to be able to do something else – simply spread the word!  Letting people know about what I’m doing would be wonderful so that we can raise awareness.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend :)

I CAN RUN! A slow run but, I CAN RUN!

I had a few things to do before I went back to the Gym (including watching a movie – it is my day of, after all!  I had a little bit of popcorn during the movie.  I left to go back to the Gym.  I bought a bowl with me as I worried that I might vomit as the popcorn didn’t feel as though it had gone down very well at all…

He got me walking up the stairs with a medicine ball and when I got the top, I lifted some weights above my head (20 times) I then had to bring the ball back down the stairs (with the ball) and back up again to lift the weights 18 times.  He got me to do this until I only lifted the weights 2 times but he added a few extra stairs in here and there.  I was puffed but, not as buggered as what I normally am.

He headed over to the treadmill and I announced that I wanted to run.  It’s something I’ve thought about doing for a while but I didn’t want to not be able to do it for more than 10 seconds and have to stop and have the possibility of looking like a tool.  He asked me if I was sure and then bumped the treadmill up to 7.1kph.  I was running.  Well, very fast jogging but, I was doing it.  I couldn’t believe it.  It felt so good.  I did this for a minute and he stopped the treadmill.  I felt like crying.  I had actually just ran.  There was not a lot of time to think as he got me doing some more weights.  In between bi lat pull thingys, other weights where I lay down and push the thingys up and high fives, we went back on the treadmill.  I ran again!  We then went and did the same set of weights and I ran, once again.  I got up to 7.5kph.  And it may have been higher as Michael was increasing the speed (I didn’t look as I didn’t want to know how much I was doing!). 

I felt like I was out of that scene in Rocky where he has run up the steps and he knows that he is the shit. 

So, it’s now 8pm.  And I’m still on a high from what I achieved today.  It may not seem like a lot to some people but, for me, it is such an amazing notch to put on my fitness post ;) I can’t remember the last time I willingly ran anywhere.  A few weeks ago, I did a quick jog across the road to the Chemist (it was either that or be hit by a car) and I jogged into the house today as my delivery from Harry’s Rocky Road arrived (not recommended for people wanting to lose weight but oh so good for a treat – www.harrysrockyroad.com.au) and I wanted to get it from the front step before Brad did.  Cross Country would have been the last time I did any running of any substance.  I am so proud. 

I love this feeling.  I love the feeling of achieving and succeeding.  Being motivated.  And determined.  Getting the results that I have wanted for so long.  Reclaiming my life.  Looking at my Kids knowing that I am striving to be here for as long as I possibly can for them.  To be a Grandmother (and if God permits, a Great Grandmother!).  Anything that you put your mind too is possible.  How you get there is up to you. 

If the shoe (and the clothes) fit :)

What a day! So glad that I am sitting back on the couch attempting to relax. It’s been a long one.



I was 20 minutes late to work today. Well, I was an hour and a half late – I would have liked to have started at 7.30am but I didn’t get there until 8.50am. I haven’t been there for a week and didn’t even get the chance to look at my work due to the fact that I was on phones pretty much straight after I’d sifted through my 110 Emails. It was so hectic. We have new head sets at work and within 5 minutes of wearing mine, I had a massive headache. It was like wearing a headband that was too tight. It was awful. I ended up leaving at around 2pm as I couldn’t stand it anymore. I’ve asked for my old headset back but, I don’t like my chances… I shall worry about it when I get back on Wednesday but there is no way I am putting that thing back on my head. Others were having problems them as well.


When I was on the train, I decided that I’d go to the gym to try and get rid of my headache. I had taken a panadol and a neurfoan (thank you, Carly xo) and it hadn’t worked an hour after I took them so I wondered if exercise would. I took Lachlan to the Gym with me as they had the Kids Fit program on so, I took him upstairs and went back down to do some stuff. I was so pleased with myself when I walked up the stairs. I just walked up them. No struggling or puffing or anything like that. And you’d hope that would be the case for someone who is just about to climb 46 floors in just over a month however, I remember when I first joined the gym (even when I first started my PT sessions), I said I hadn’t gone upstairs because I wasn’t sure how I’d get up them. Now, I just do.


I managed 3 minutes on the cross trainer. Not bad for someone who hasn’t been at the gym for a while. When I got off it and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I hardly recognised myself. I look fantastic (with a long way to go) but still fantastic! I did some walking and some weights. I showed off a bit with the weights so, I’ll probably feel it tomorrow but, it’s all good. I also did some stairs. I don’t use the stair machine as I feel a bit unco on it at the moment but, I shall have another go tomorrow or Thursday to see how I go.


I got a delivery of clothes from ‘Old Navy’ and I was so pleased that they all fit and really well too. I ordered a pair of ‘yoga pants’ and they are SO comfortable. I shall adopt them as my new pants that I will wear to the gym. I got about 15 new tops and a hot pink Windcheater. I shall certainly order from there again (as soon as my bank balance recovers). Postage is a fair bit but, it’s worth it for clothes that fit me. I got this gorgeous linen top in my order that is actually loose on me. It wouldn’t have even gone over my head 12 months ago. It’s amazing at how far I’ve come. I love all of these non scale victories. I am feeling really good about myself at the moment and there’s more to come :)I also had the challenge tonight of finding closed toe shoes. I am going to ‘The Circle’ with Trish on Thursday and you’re not allowed to wear thongs. I found some shoes (shock, horror). It’s the first time I’ve worn anything other than thongs or runners in the past 3 years or so. They will kill my feet by the end of the day so, I’ll make sure I chuck my Havis in my bag for when we’ve finished. I’m looking forward to Trishys and my day together – it’s been ages since it’s just been her and I.

My sexy shoes and gym socks :)

I have a PT session tomorrow. I shall give it my all. I am so full of energy which is quite amazing considering I had none last week when I was sick. I am happy I have gotten better a bit quicker than what I expected – including getting rid of that bloody headache.


Life is good :) and you get out of it what you put into it. It’s funny how you only really learn that lesson once you start doing that. It’s up to you how you live your life. Sure, there are some things that are out of your control but, if you take hold of the parts that are, things just seem to fall into place and you benefit from it.

A nice relaxing swim :)

I hope everyone’s had a good weekend. Mine was quite average. I am still quite sick so it stopped me from doing things that I wanted to do. I didn’t attend a baby shower on Saturday or the one that I should have gone to today as I didn’t want to get either of them sick. I am happy to hear that they had a good time. Enjoying looking at the photos being put up on Facebook :)



I just got back from the gym. I did a lot of swimming. I did 1.25km of laps and I did another 1.25km of leg work and upper body work. I grabbed a kick board and did a few laps of kicking. I also used a a dumb bell and did some laps just using my arms. It’s quite amazing the difference between using your arms solely to move through the water. Like wise when you’re using your legs. When I was kicking, it took me ages to complete a lap but when I was using my arms, it didn’t take much effort at all. My arms are SO sore and I am going to feel it in my legs tomorrow morning for sure as I did 10 laps of running. I ran as fast as I could in the water. By the end of it, my calves were burning.


It was great to go swimming again as it’s the first time I’ve been since I had my Olive Oil burn. The burns are all healed (the biggest one is on it’s way ‘out’) so I guess now I understand why I got so tired at the end of my first 1.25km as it’s been some time since I swam.


Just under a month until the stair climb. I am into serious training now. Whenever I see a flight of stairs, I embrace them! I still climb up the Escalators at the station when I am heading up to work and am really focussing on eating the right things to make sure I am fit and ready. It’s been a bit hard over the past week as I have been sick but, things are all good now. Here’s the link to sponsor me -

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA


$160 has been raised so far. I am going to start raising funds at work at the beginning of July so hopefully, I can raise some more money for the Cancer Council.


I am still only able to eat very soft foods and fluids. I made up a big batch of soup in the slow cooker yesterday which I’ll eat over the next week. I am still having shakes in the morning. Even a tub of yogurt is a bit too ‘bulky’ for me as it’s a bit too thick. Things are good though. I’m feeling great.


Off to make tea – everyone is having a Chicken Roll from Leonards with roast vegies. I am having soup :) either way, it’s an early night for me tonight as I’m off to work tomorrow. Feeling icky still but, I have to go at some stage…

Questions and answers - part 2

And I bring you part 2 :)

Can you take tablets after you have had the lap band?

This was one thing I was quite worried about as I thought it some things get stuck, surely tablets will too but, no, they don’t. I refer to my stomach as two parts now. The top part (above the band) is my smaller stomach and the part of my stomach under my band is my lower stomach. Things that go into the smaller stomach then move to the lower stomach through the small hole that the band has created. I believe that tablets are dissolve in the upper stomach and then flow through to the lower stomach. I take Swisse multivitamins and they are huge and never get stuck.
Is there anything you can’t do with the band?
I was told my by Surgeon that I shouldn’t do a sit ups. I have no problems following those instructions at all :) he said that it isn’t good as the tubing from the port to the band can get twisted and it’s not good for it. Other than that, I don’t think there’s many things that I can’t do other than over eat :)


I see lap banding as the easy way out…
I have included only part of this Person’s question as the rest was pretty much just an attack on larger people so I don’t feel as though it was relevant however, I did want to respond to this part. Lap banding is not the easy way out. It is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. To readjust my eating every few weeks depending on how tight my band is, to make sure that I make sure I am getting enough of everything in the tiny portions that I have, to know that this is a life time commitment – not just something I can stop and start and to be prepared for things to go wrong (erosion, slippage, ports flipping etc…) is certainly not the preferable way of doing things. This is a last resort and prior to having your band during your first few appointments, your Surgeon will discuss this with you to make sure you understand the seriousness of having the surgery. Nope, not easy at all!


Will you have to have surgery to remove excess skin after you’ve lost your weight?
Yes, I think I will have to. Although I am training hard to make sure I am toned as possible but, under my arms are very flabby as is my ‘fatty apron’ (I hate that expression – it’s the lowest part of my stomach under my belly button). I may also have to have some on my upper legs as they look like I am the Michelan man at the moment. I will also get a boob lift at the end of it all as my boobs lost their war against gravity quite some time ago (and I guess breast feeding 4 kids didn’t help either!).


What’s your greatest achievement since losing your weight?
I imagine that this will change as the time goes on. At the moment, it’s being able to do my seat belt up and also get into the shower without having to take off one of the doors. It’s wanting to park those few car parks away from the shopping centre without dreading the walk and looking forward to a challenge. It’s knowing that if my train parks at the far end of the platform at Spencer Street Station, I am not afraid of the walk up the platform nor do I go to one shop at the shopping centre and drive down to the other end rather than walk. I think it’s things that most people can do but just don’t realise some people can’t. I also really enjoy having to buy new bras and undies as all the other ones are too big! It’s expensive (to lose weight) but, it’s worth every cent. The other I also feel privileged to be able to share my story with others and inspire them to make positive changes to their lives.


I know some people are selective on who they tell about their weight loss surgery, are you the same?
No! I tell anyone who will listen! I am not proud of the weight I got to but I am proud of the fact that I am doing something about it. I celebrate every success with my family and friends.


Are you nervous about your stair climb? Do you get to keep any of the money? What will your next challenge be?
Hmmm. Now that it’s getting a bit closer, I am starting to realise the amount of work I am going to have to put into it to get up the top but I am really looking forward to it. All of the money goes to the Cancer Council – you donate directly to them through this link http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA as for my next challenge, I have no idea although I am open to suggestions :)


How do you pan on celebrating when you reach your goal?
I am going to have some kind of dinner, I think! I am going to invite everyone who has had something to do with my journey along the way and have a big party! One with no Chicken!


If you weren’t as heavy, would you still have written your blog?
I don’t think I would have. I had to think about this before answering it but, I think that perhaps I would have looked around to see if I was the heaviest before writing it! Although in saying that, when I started writing it, I didn’t know that I was the heaviest person I had met that had been banded. I am sure that I am the heaviest on the forum I am a member of (www.bandingtogether.com.au) and I know that I am the heaviest person my Surgeon has banded and I also know that I am the heaviest person my trainer has trained so, I guess if I can do it, so can everyone else.


So, that’s it for now! As I said at the start, there were a few questions that I am not going to answer because they were just rude and un necessary. I can’t believe the nerve of some people sometimes! If you want me to elaborate on anything, feel free to comment and I’ll answer it as best as I can :)

Questions and answers - part 1

Here are some questions that I have sent to me over the last few months. It’s taken me a bit of time to get around to answering them but, better late than never! Some of them I didn’t answer as they were just crude and unnecessary and there are a few questions that I have answered that may have a bit of a shock factor but, I’m open and honest about my whole journey. I know some people may have a problem with it but I am not ashamed or embarrassed about anything I have written. I apologise to those who I offend in advance.



Can you feel your lap band?
Short answer – no. Not when I am sitting, walking, swimming, sleeping, talking, working – you can’t actually feel that there is something inside you wrapped around your stomach. You can however feel it when you eat or drink something. When you drink something, you can feel it go down the through your stomach slowly (especially when the drink is cold!) and when you eat a meal, you feel a lot quicker a lot sooner than what you would if you didn’t have a band. You can also feel ‘blocked up’ if you haven’t chewed enough or if something is stuck in the band. A sip of fizzy drink will help you burp (and possibly vomit) which helps bring up the food that is stuck.


You mention a lot of things you can’t eat, what are the sorts of things you can eat?
I can eat anything so long as it’s of the right texture and consistency. Soups, milkshakes, fluids (non fizzy), drinking yoghurts, normal yoghurt, steamed or mashed vegies, some pastas, salads and fruit goes down well. Unfortunately, some of the easiest things are also the worst for you – chocolate, ice cream, thick shakes, sugary milk drinks, alcohol, juices and mouses go down without a hitch. And they don’t fill you up as they have no bulk to them. So, if I really wanted to, I could sit here all day and eat ice cream with chocolate sauce! But, no. I choose not to. I can eat almost anything put in front of me – if I can’t, I just push it to the side and continue on :) meat is pretty much a no no unless it’s totally mashed up.


This question had 2 parts – were people shocked at how much you weighed?
Yes, people were shocked at my weight. I was nearly 250kg. The weight of a some motorbikes. I was shocked at how much I weighed. It just crept up. I didn’t notice it. And when I say that, I sincerely mean it. I was DISTRAUGHT when I found out how much I weighed. I remember crying. The kind when you hyperventilate. I was so upset. And some people said I was in denial. That is not the case. I just didn’t realise how far I’d let it go.


As for part 2 of this question, aren’t you embarrassed or ashamed?
Yes, I was embarrassed. No, I wasn’t really ashamed. I was embarrassed as I wasn’t able to do a lot of things that I am sure a majority of people on the earth can do. Here comes the TMI bit – I couldn’t wipe myself after going to the toilet. May I point out that I can now (woohoo!) but, I spent at least an hour one night googling what to do. Do you know how many pages are dedicated to those who can’t wipe themselves after going to the toilet? It’s not just overweight people who have problems, it’s people who have severe back problems, the elderly or those who have some other kind of disability stopping them from doing something that stops them from wiping properly and funnily enough, those from Europe where they have those funny washing thingys find it hard to stretch backwards (or forwards – which ever way you do it) as they’re not used to it. I actually ended up having to buy a pair of tongs that I used to keep in my handbag so that I could wipe when I was out as having a shower at work just wasn’t practicable. I told a few of my close friends and family but I also ended up telling my Team Leader as about my issue as I had 1 or 2 days off work sick when I had a sore tummy and had to go numerous times. As I knew it was going to change, I had no shame in saying it. And I have much delight saying that now, I have no problems in that department at all! Wooo!


I love your blog and I am so proud of you. You are amazing and so inspiring. Are you family proud of you?
Yes, they are! They are quite amazed at how well I am doing. I know some members of my family aren’t as ‘public’ as what I am and they are uncomfortable at the fact that I share so much information about my journey but, I am striving to help other people who are in the same position as me. There are a lot of people who are struggling with their weight and have tried everything. By sharing my story, I am able to show people that it is possible. It can be done. I’ve come so far and am so proud of my success.


Do you notice a difference since you’ve lost your weight?
Yes, I do. I have a lot more energy. That is probably the first thing I have noticed. I have noticed that my body is changing shape. I have a lot of ‘wobbly bits’ that weren’t as wobbly. I don’t like those bits at all!


How many people read your blog?
Well, my blog has just hit the 15,000 hit mark. I have an average of 100 hits per day, more on blog day. It’s funny to look at the stats on ‘non blog’ days as people still come to check to see if I’ve written something! I also have data on the words people have searched for in Google but have then landed here, reading my blog. Some of the funny ones are ‘fataphobic Doctors’, ‘personal narrative of overcoming obesity and fast food’, ‘angry client exercise’ and ‘fat person planking’. Most of my readers are in Australia followed by USA, UK, United Arab Emirates, Canada, Germany, Japan, Sweden and Russia.


What weight do you want to get to?
I want to get to 85kg.


What food do you miss the most?
Every bandit can have different foods. Some can have bread, some can’t. Some can have steak, others can’t. But, I can’t have Chicken. And that shits me!


I have read you have Children. What are you doing to make sure that your Children don’t end up in the same place you are?
I have copied and pasted this question for what it was. I haven’t taken it personally but, it did hit a bit of a nerve! I am setting an example. I am getting them to stop and look at what they’re eating before they eat it. I get them involved in menu preparation of the food and we limit take away to once a fortnight (sometimes week – depending on how busy we are). When I say the above, I am not saying that my Parents didn’t do this with me. I have lived out of home long enough to make my own decisions about food, what I eat, what I don’t eat and how much I consume of what I choose to dine on. I would never wish this on my kids. It’s been a hard time being overweight. It has been hell. And they are experiencing it now to a certain point and it breaks my heart. I no longer go to the Callum’s School as he gets picked on when I do. he hasn’t asked me not to come, I just don’t want him to go through the crap that he has to go through when I do attend. It’s sad but, it’s how it has to be for a while.


How did you pick your Surgeon?
I found him by chance. I went to my Doctor asking him to refer me to a lap band surgeon and he looked up in the area who was around. Doctor Winnett was local. I didn’t meet with anyone else – just him. I know that some people shop around but, I was comfortable with him from the moment I met him. I made the right choice.


How did you weigh up the risks of having the Surgery?
I believe that it’s 1 in 1,000 that don’t make it through the Surgery when you’re the weight that I am. It was something that played on the back of my mind but, I kept thinking that it’s either I stay like this for the rest of my life or I ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. I am happy I did. I did prepare for the worst (just in case it did happen). I wrote a will, I planned a Funeral, I recorded messages fro my friends and family – I wasn’t sure if it would happen but, if it did, I was prepared. I know I made the right decision.


What are your tips for someone who is thinking of having the Surgery?
Do you research. As much as you need to , in any way that you need to. Books was my tool of choice but I know that other people prefer going to Seminars. Talk to other people who have had the surgery – go on lap banding forums. Read the factual scientific negative things however, try and steer clear of people’s horror stories. Listen to a few, sure but, as you know yourself, once you have your mind set on something (positive or negative), there is no changing that opinion. No matter how hard someone tries. Check that all your health insurance is in order and research accessing your Super (to fund your surgery if you need to) way ahead of time before booking your Surgery (www.apra.gov.au) . Let the different emotions come and go – you’ll feel scared, sad, nervous, apprehensive, happy, excited – lots of things.


How much did your Surgery cost?
I was out of pocket around $3000. I can claim some of this back at tax time. My health insurer is Medibank Private and I have top cover. I did have things that I had to pay for that weren’t associated with the surgery such as my CPAP machine (for my sleep apnoea). You need to factor these sorts of things in.


Phew – that’s it for now! There are a few more there that I’ll get around to tomorrow. I’m shocked that I managed to get through this many! If you have any questions that you want to ask, Email me at movingforwardlookingforward@gmail.com and I’m happy to answer anything (well, almost anything).

A much needed holiday but no exercise :/

Phew! What a long weekend. We got home yesterday. We went away for 2 nights to Geelong. I’m already well on the way to planning our next one as we had such a fantastic time :) the day before going to Geelong, we went to the Yo Gabba Gabba concert with the Twins. It was such a busy but memorable weekend.



For those of you who have kids, you know how exhausting a Holiday can be – especially when there’s driving involved. CONSTANT arguing and fighting and carrying on. The Boys went on a Helicopter ride (something I am going to join them on in 60 kilograms time!), we went on a little Train thing, the Carousel, walked along the beach front, went to Toys R Us (what a STUPID idea that was!), went bowling, had dinner with one of Brad’s friends (Leon), went fishing, played Monopoly, table tennis, Daytona (yay) and we ATE (and I drank Wine).


I didn’t eat a lot of bad stuff but I certainly did consume more than what I normally would have and also ate things that I normally wouldn’t have! The worst thing was a half a small pack of McDonalds chips. With chicken sauce. They were SO yummy and considering I haven’t had them for the last, well, 8 months (?) I have done quite well. I’ve tried to have a chip here and there but without success. I think it was the chicken sauce that helped them go down. It’s not something that I am going to get into the habit of though – it was a treat.


I didn’t do any exercise whilst I was away – just walking up and down supermarkets aisles stocking up on things that we needed. I did plan on going to the exercise park that was opposite where we are staying but, time didn’t permit :/ I am feeling the lack of exercise. It’s been a week since I went to the Gym. I have my PT session tomorrow (I think it’s a 45 minute one) so, I’m sure I’ll be able to make up for some of the lack of movement over the past week then.


I had to go to the Doctors today as I am not well at all. I have a really bad ear infection. The Doctor has put me on antibiotics and I had today off work as a result of all the coughing over night. Am going to take it easy tonight and tomorrow other than the PT and the fact we have to clear out Lounge room as the new couches are arriving tomorrow. Perhaps this could be classed as exercise?


I got heaps of photos of myself over the weekend. I actually enjoy having them taken now as I look so fat! Not as fat as what I used to but, it’s good to have them so I can reflect back on them. I’ve said before how I used to avoid the camera – I actually love it now!

I still have to get around to answering these questions that people have asked me. Shall work on them tomorrow. There’s about 15 so far! I shall answer them as best as I can. If you need me to elaborate on anything I’ve written, let me know and I’ll give it a shot.

When I went to the Chemist today, a lady who was considering lap band served me.  She was the same lady who served me last year when I was purchasing my weeks worths of Optis.  I think she was quite amazed at the amount of weight I had lost.  It's fantastic to see people who I haven't seen in ages - especially those who don't see my photos.  I am catching up with one of my Girlfriends, Nyre over the School Holidays.  I haven't seen her in ages.  Even though she didn't see me at my fattest, I am sure she'll notice a difference.  Even when we saw Leon on Monday night, he said I was looking well.  I actually weigh more now that what I did when I saw him last time however, I think he thinks i look like I'm less!Hope everyone is well xo

Any publicity is good publicty :)

This link was sent to me by a friend... I think 'The Professionals' real estate do a write up of the local news.  I quite like their summary.

'Local to Melton Stephanie Payne is taking one for the team and raising money for cancer research with an interesting new twist.



Her goal is to climb up 46 floors of her CBD work building in July, why you ask? because not only will it be a personal challenge but one that she feels will get people interested and involved in the cause. Stephanie started by participating in the Melton Relay for Life in April and with that inspiration has decided to take on this new challenge.


Stephanie has a blog (movingforwardlookingforward. blogspot.com )in which you can read about her truly inspiring progress and if you would like to donate to her cause you can do so by checking the Cancer Vic website. It’s so great to see people from our local community raising money for a cause like this one. We wish you luck Stephanie.'


Here's the link to the actual mention here...
 
http://melton.blog.professionalsmelton.com.au/2011/melton-news/moving-forward-looking-forward/

And if you'd like to donate, please go here...

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA

56.7kg GONE!

I had my weigh in today! I was too nervous to eat! I was a little bit late for my appointment but got there eventually.



I sat down and Jason asked me how I’d been going. I told him about the fact that I was a bit nervous and that I had eaten Chocolate :/ like, a whole small Toblerone. I told him about my stair climb and how I’ve been training hard at the gym in the last few weeks for it. I told him how it’s strange being weighed every 6 weeks rather than every week as you have to track back to pin point where you went wrong along the way if things weren’t as they should be! Then the moment arrived… the scales.


I don’t really know how to read his scales. It has a slidey thing and makes a loud bump noise when I stand on them. He fiddled with them for a bit and said he was very impressed. I don’t think I was standing on them properly as he went from very impressed to wondering ‘how could you have lost so much’. I think it ended up that my tummy was too close to the pole that measures your height and it wasn’t giving an accurate reading. He got me to turn around and then things started doing what they should be.


He told me that I weighed 186.3kg. I nearly cried! I was so happy that I was under 187kg. This is what I wanted to achieve. We worked out that I have lost 56.7kg since the start of my journey. I am so proud of myself. He put another .3ml into my band (not sure how much is in at the moment – will have to ask him next time I go in) and sent me on my way.


I had to go straight to the Gym after I got home. I told Michael of my results and he was really pleased. I said to him that I’d love to aim to lose 10kg in this 6 week period. I reckon I can do it. I am really going to focus on my eating. I also need to concentrate on my exercise as when I look at my exercise log, I have been a bit slack in the past month. Time to get back on board. I’ll go to the Gym on Saturday and I’ll make sure I go as much as I can during the week next week. I don’t have another PT session until Thursday next week so, I need to keep up with everything.


I also had an appointment with my Psychiatrist today. He hasn’t seen me for some Months. I still see him although I’m not on medication or anything anymore for the depression I had some time ago. It’s good to have a 20 minute vent. He said to me he hardly recognised me :) it was really good to see someone that I haven’t seen for ages (and someone who hasn’t seen photos of me) notice such a change. There’s still a few of my Family members who I’d love to catch up who I haven’t seen for around a year.

I feel so empowered.  So proud of myself.  Like I'm ready for round whatever it is.  I want to get to 85kg.  And to that from where I was means that I have to have lost 158kg.  I have 101.3kg left to goal.  I'm a third of the way there :)


So, there you have it. 56.7kg. Gone. When I Google 57kg to see what this looks like, I find links to ‘the fattest Child in China’, just over 11 5kg bags of potatoes from the Supermarket, 205 litre mini bar fridge, over 4 slabs of VB and now that I think about it, it’s the weight of my 12 year old Son! Go me!

Tomorrow - the moment of truth

Tomorrow is weigh day.



I approach weigh day with much excitement. I HOPE I am under 190kg (if I’m not, I’m doing something seriously wrong) but I’d LOVE to be under 187kg.


Last time I said what I wanted to be, I ended up not being it so I am trying not to get my hopes up too much. I think I said it the other day – if I weighed myself every week, it would be a lot easier. I’d be able to pin point where I went wrong rather than having to wait for 6 weeks to find out the results to then wonder where I went wrong… 6 weeks is a long time to do nothing wrong in the world of diet and exercise. I think in the next 6 week block, I might keep a food journal. That works really well for me. I’ll buy an exercise book and keep a record of what I am having. That way, I can work out where I am mucking up and where I am going right.


I finally went and bought myself some Tea today. I went to the Oriental Tea House in Melbourne Central. I bought a few different blends, one of which I enjoyed today. I bought a gorgeous little tea pot/cup thingy (hard to describe) and indulged in the relaxing blend. I also bought some green tea which (I quote) “Green tea is well known for helping out our bodies in a number of different areas including managing obesity by increasing metabolism and stimulates fat oxidation and lowering chances of heart disease and developing certain types of cancer”. I got also got some Raspberry and Lime tea, Chrysanthemum, black tea and another one but I can’t remember the name of it. The store was gorgeous – they had all different samples and you got to try them in a shot glass :) there are so many things to choose from. I had a ball in there working out what I was going to buy. I want to venture in again but I shall wait until I have ran out of at least one of the teas that I purchased today.


You may have seen my link to the Newspaper article from ‘The Melton Leader’. I am excited that they have published my story :) hopefully it generates some more public awareness so that I can raise some more money for the Cancer Council. Here is the link again if you’d like to donate…


http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=342014&langPref=en-CA


Remember all donations over $2 are tax deductable and you get a receipt Emailed to you right away.


I have my 2nd PT for the week tomorrow too. I’m not too sore today after yesterdays session although I did lots of stairs yesterday – and my legs are defiantly feeling it today! I was in quite a low mood yesterday. I did everything that Michael asked of me, I was just emotionally drained. It’s been a long few weeks and I think it’s finally catching up with me


Well, stay tuned tomorrow night for my weigh in result. Hopefully it’s good as I have tried quite hard in the past 6 weeks. I hope it has paid off. We shall see…

Melton Leader - 8.6.2011 - "Fundraiser on the level for Melton Woman" - By Ami Humpage

"THE sky is the limit for Melton’s Stephanie Payne.


She is in training to climb up 46 floors of her CBD work building next month to raising money for cancer research.

Ms Payne said her climb would be a huge challenge. “I weigh just over 190kg and have lost almost 50kg since August last year.”

She participated in the Melton Relay for Life in April and was so inspired she set herself a new goal: to climb her Melbourne Central Tower building on July 22.

“I am seeing my personal trainer twice a week and am training hard to make sure I complete it.”

Her trainer, Michael Kruze from Genesis in Melton, will be doing the climb with her, adding weights to a backpack to make it a personal challenge for himself.
Ms Payne said when things got too tough she’d think of her Nanna, who is battling cancer.

“She is so brave and I am so proud of her,” Ms Payne said. “Watching her go through the things she has gone through in the past few months have really made me realise how cruel cancer can be and I want to work to raise funds so that perhaps soon we can live in a cancer free world.”

To donate search for Ms Payne at cancervic.org.au.

Follow her progress at movingforwardlookingforward.blogspot.com"

Link to the actual article...

Those bloody Golden Syrup dumplings

Well, I ended up giving into the Golden Syrup dumplings. I made them on Sunday night. It was good though as when it came time for me to eat them, I didn’t feel very hungry and only managed a Teaspoon full. My other addiction at the moment is Nachos. OMG – they make the best Nachos at Mad Mex at the food court near my work. I buy a Kid’s meal and manage to eat around 4 corn chips, a teaspoon of Avocado and a little bit of lettuce and fresh salsa. I feel so bad for eating it though but when I realise that I haven’t eaten much at all, I feel a lot better. The nutrition content of it mustn’t be that good but, hey, it happens.



I was mentioned in this month’s Genesis Melton Newsletter :) under ‘meet a Member’. Here it is…


I have been overweight my whole life. Primary School and High School were hell (I wish I would have gotten away with that Casey kid’s ‘body throw’ but, being at a prestigious private School, I don’t imagine I would have). I was bullied every single day and unfortunately, still experience this as an Adult at least twice a week by random people who don’t even know me.


Much to my Husband’s and my shock, we found out we were expecting Twins back in August 2007. I was around about 175kg. It was a shock to find out that we would soon be parents of 4 (as we already had 2 boys). Unfortunately, I went through the experience of suffering from severe Post Natal Depression and it felt as though my life was put on pause for about 12 months. My health and weight didn’t seem important to me and when I stopped registering on my bathroom scales (which went up to 180kg), I didn’t think a lot of it.
I went back to work in March 2010 and a few months afterwards, I was experiencing severe migraines. I was admitted to Epworth Private Hospital and they needed to run some tests, one being an MRI. The Neurologist asked me how much I weighed. I informed him that I was just over 175kg. He ‘gently’ told me that he thought that I was more than that. The Nurse lead me to one set of scales. I hopped on and it didn’t register. She said they must be broken. I asked her how much they went up to. She said 200kg. I hopped off and jumped back on again. They still didn’t register. I told her they weren’t broken, it must be the fact that I weighed over 200kg. I felt sick. I was crying to the point of hyperventilating. They got some other scales for me. I jumped on. I didn’t want to know how much I weighed but also knew that I had to find out. I was 243kg. I rang and made an appointment with Lap Band Surgeon, Dr Jason Winnett. Lap band was something I had been thinking about doing for some time but I had already broken 2 appointments with Dr Winnett. Shortly after I got out of the Hospital, I joined up with Genesis (on the 17th of August to be exact!).

I would have weighed 235kg. I had my lap band procedure on the 17th of November and weighed 220kg. I now weigh 191kg. That’s a loss of 52kg in 8 months!


I have been training at least 3 times a week and I also see Michael for personal training and whatever he throws at me, I do.


Since losing the weight, I am able to do things that I wasn’t able to do before. The seat belt in my car now does up without an extension, I can finally put my own shoes and socks on, I now fit in the shower at home, I can get out of the pool without assistance, I have a lot more energy and feel fantastic. I completed ‘relay for life’ in April and I have set myself a goal of climbing the 42 floors of the building I work in. I will do this in July. I am also doing the 1,000 steps walk up Mount Dandenong in a week.


Things that I never thought I would do, I am accomplishing. The feeling of getting my life back is amazing and that feeling is what keeps me going when I just want to stop.


With hard work, dedication and self discipline, I will be under 150kg by the end of the year. Something that I can’t imagine but something that I know is achievable as I have realised that anything is possible if you put your mind to it. It’s so cliché but, if I can do it, anyone can. Never say never (and I’m not meaning to quote Justin Bieber either – blah).


The support that I have received from the Staff at Genesis is amazing. Everyone is so encouraging and helpful and I know that even though it’s a long way away, I will reach my goal.


I’ve had a few people come up and say hi to me since this has gone out. It’s great to know I’ve been able to inspire some people at the gym with my story.


I have my PT session today. I’m in a bit of a ‘mood’ at the moment (to say the least). I am annoyed at a few things and have a few issues that I am dealing with. Most of them will sort themselves out in time and I know that things should fall into place within the next few months. It’s just a matter of getting through them first. I hope I get to do some boxing! I feel like boxing something. Whatever I do today, I’ll be putting 110% into it to try and get rid of some of this negative energy.


I am going to see my Nanna and Poppa today. Nanna isn’t very well at all now. I stayed at Mum and Dad’s house last night and Dad and I are going over there this morning at 11ish. Nanna has an iPad2! She loves (or should I say loved) looking through my iPhone when I would go and see her that she decided she wanted a PC tablet. My Brother in Law bought her 2 over to try out but she was insistent that she wanted the ‘one like Stephanie’s’. I’m looking forward to her showing me what it does and how it works. I’ve seen an iPad2 for around about 30 seconds when I went to JB HiFi with the Twins. The Twins took the iPad off me and suggested that we go now as they were sitting in the trolley with it in their hands. No, we’re not going now and no, Mummy didn’t get a look in.


Weigh day in 2 days. Aaarrrggghhh.

A week 'til weigh day...

I DO NOT want Golden Syrup dumplings. Not at all! I have wanted dumplings for the last hour or so. I am not going to make them as I know I will eat them all and that would not be good.



I had my PT session today. Michael went easy on me because of the burns on my tummy. He got me to do this rowing thing with a dumb bell. I looked like a tool but, it worked. My shoulder blades are quite sore and I can feel it in my upper arms for sure.


I have my appointment with Dr Winnett next Thursday. It’s at this point that I get nervous about how much weight I have/haven’t lost. I also then remind myself of how I am feeling (great) so, I must be doing something right.


The funny thing about having a lap band is I often feel so full and so bloated. I then get the guilts that I have eaten too much. I then remember that I have the band and I’ve only had half a cup of food (or whatever it is) so that bad ‘I’ve eaten too much feeling’ applies in a different way now to what it did prior to November.


I am still finding the boredom eating a challenge. I ate quite a bit yesterday at work yesterday because I was bored and had nothing to do (well, I had heaps to do but I was bored with what I was doing so I ate!). I’ll bring some sugar free lollies in or something like that to keep myself from thinking of the food. The fact is, I’m not hungry – I am just eating. It’s not a good thing to do… any tips on how you’ve overcome boredom eating? I’d be grateful for them :)


Hope everyone has had a good week so far xo